7 Costly Communication Mistakes Mothers Make
What are some communication mistakes mothers make?
Do you know that there are several mistakes mothers make while communicating with their children?
Telling your child what to do, how to do it or when to do it without considering their thoughts or opinions might not necessarily be communication- It could be DICTATORSHIP.
Many mothers make various communication mistakes without realizing it, and these can affect your relationship with your kid and even their mental health.
When you are always in the habit of dictating or imposing your rules on your children, they could turn around to rebel against you one day.
In as much as you would want to guide or control your child as a mom, you should consider their feelings, thoughts or opinions before making a decision. You should also make them understand why you are deciding on something, so they don’t get the wrong message.
And this is where communication comes in handy.
Communication happens in two ways- sending and receiving information between two or more persons. In this case, it is between you and your child.
Every communication involves one or more sender, a message and a receiver. As simple as it sounds, communication can be a “hard nut to crack”.
Several factors can influence the message transmission from a sender to a receiver. These are culture, emotions, communication medium, location, etc.
Ineffective communication may psychologically affect your child, manifesting later in the form of disobedience and aggression.
Mothers often experience serious challenges when it comes to communication. Some moms use authoritarian parenting strategy which silences your kid’s voice while others are too lenient. Thus they spare the rod and spoil the child.
You have to balance communication strategy for responsible and effective parenting. Trust me! It is not that difficult. You should become more conscious of the way to talk to your child.
Let us expose these costly communication mistakes mothers make.
7 Costly Communication Mistakes Mothers Make
Have you noticed talking to your child and he starts playing with things or looking for an escape route from the ceiling?
It is not as if your child chooses to do those funny things; you have simply been blabbering to him for hours. Children’s attention span is short, and so complaining for hours distracts them from the main issue. They might probably hope that you don’t die from high blood pressure due to your constant nagging and yelling.
Instead, the issue you wish to address should be short and precise to allow them the time to process and understand the information. You can later repeat your explanation without preaching or getting irritated.
A bad day can cause you to transfer aggression to your kids. This, in turn, makes your kid anxious and builds negative energy. Yelling at your child while passing a passage is one of the mistakes mothers make.
You’ll end up frightening your kid, who may not understand the reason for your harsh reaction. Kids that experience this from their parents or moms feel rejected and unloved.
Instead of shouting at your child, talk firmly to him. It is best to sit or kneel at your kid’s height level, keep eye contact and explain in a calm voice using simple words.
Comparing Your Kid to Others
Many parents are guilty of comparing their kids to others children or even their siblings with the mindset of motivating them. Comparing children is one of the common mistakes mothers make.
See, you will only fill your child’s heart with so much resentment for the kid he is compared to. He could interpret the message that you value his sibling more. Instead, praise your children equally after good work, support their shortcomings. Every child’s unique and possesses different weaknesses and talents.
Negatively Criticizing Your Children
When you are in the habit of tagging your child as “selfish” or “dumb”, you make them feel less.
Yes, these words negatively affect the general mental state of your kid. It could affect their relationship with others at home or school and what they think of themselves. Their self-esteem lowers as they feel they can never excel at anything.
Rather than hurl insults at your child for not doing what is expected of them, reprimand their unacceptable behaviour. And if you must criticize their wrong acts, make them understand what they have done and the reason for your action.
Nagging and Threats
It is common among mothers to threaten their children to have their way. When you constantly give repeated warnings about consequences for disobedience and stubbornness, you can experience two results.
The first is that your kid will gradually overlook your warnings since you don’t carry out any of those treats.
Secondly, your repeated negative tone may instill fear in your kids, making them aggressive or resentful towards you.
Instead, give a clear and short instruction explaining your expectations and the consequence for violating.
Carry out your threat to make them understand that there is a consequence for every wrong act.
You Are Insensitive
You should understand that he is sensitive about petty stuff at this stage of your kid’s life. Your child always wants to express himself to you and get back support.
When you ignore these feelings or react to them harshly, you leave your child feeling misunderstood and alone.
For example, if he had a fight with his best friend and feels sad, empathize with him. Tell him a related story and how you handled it. He will feel safe opening up more because you are connected to his emotions.
Putting Down Your Child Ideas
Children and even young teenagers often have big and unrealistic ideas that they can share with you. Belittling their ideas could make them feel stupid or dumb.
Whenever they meet you with those fairy-tale ideas that only happen in Disney movies, give a curious response. Ask to know why they thought of or like the idea and how they plan on achieving it.
Listening to them and asking questions show you support them. It can also make them realize whether or not their idea is feasible.
In a Nutshell
For a smooth motherhood journey, you need to become aware and avoid these communication mistakes mothers make. Your kids need to trust you with their thoughts and feelings. They need to know that you are listening to them as this is a connection base with your child.
Also, what you say and do to others in your child’s presence can positively or negatively affect them since kids imitate their parents.
Can you relate to any of these communication mistakes mothers make? Let us know your experience in the comment section below.